Song for you to listen to for the duration of this comment: Mood Music
Contemplating the "what can I do to get better at this" when "this" is an identity is...uh.
Which is. Not...useful. XD XD
Hrm. I don't know about identity as like, a monolith? Like, you're you. You're not The Artist (identity). It's more like a tag on the post of yourself and shows up on your business cards and in the fact that you can speak intelligently about a skill you have developed over time (and TAUGHT to IMPRESSIONABLE COLLEGE STUDENTS). You're a grab bag of interests and talents and skills, and I've seen you enthuse over non-artist-stuff even if you keep gravitating back to artistry for whatever reason. (I would like to think because you enjoy it, but you can enjoy it as a hobby and not an identity.) But like. Everyone is faceted. You have the artist aspect and the educator aspect and the husband aspect and son/brother/family member aspect, and the Alarming Fermented Health Drinks aspect, etc. and so on. I get the Pressures to pick one, but I agree with the book that is not wise to cauterize everything else ever. Like, idk man, maybe follow one of your other interests down the rabbit hole sometime, yanno?
I say that, knowing that I'm weird as fuck, b/c I have always had split interests across the entire map. I am both VERY into programming as well as theater and followed my interests onto a totally tangential track to editing/writing. So like. Niche down, man. Or do something wildly different to figure out if you like it. One of my programmer friends realized they HATED programming and got a job at Chipotle b/c they had an epiphany. They hated the fact that their work felt so meaningless because they couldn't interface with people to know their work was making any kind of impact on the world. Handing someone a burrito? LUNCH. DIRECT ACTION. I too smile when someone hands me a burrito. Idk what they're doing now, but they know they can't ever go back to behind-the-scenes programming for a corporation because it was horribly detrimental to their mental health. Like, friend. You don't have to be The Artist. You can just be an #artist while also being a #teacher or #kombuchadesigner or #supportforthewife'scutepastrybusiness or something.
And as for changing identity (not even picking one, but just like, breaking out of the rut), humans are honestly super adaptable. Like. We can even change gender and brain scans will back up the adaptation. Which isn't to say 'pick a new identity' but to say 'please don't foreclose on any identity, holy crap.' Which, I mean, you know that, ahha, since you wrote this entry. I feel like...the 'I am ___' thing for identity is a paradigm that needs to be chucked in the bin, unless you're going to repeat to yourself that 'I am {anecdata}' and add absolutely zero qualifiers.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-10-30 08:13 pm (UTC)Contemplating the "what can I do to get better at this" when "this" is an identity is...uh.
Which is. Not...useful. XD XD
Hrm. I don't know about identity as like, a monolith? Like, you're you. You're not The Artist (identity). It's more like a tag on the post of yourself and shows up on your business cards and in the fact that you can speak intelligently about a skill you have developed over time (and TAUGHT to IMPRESSIONABLE COLLEGE STUDENTS). You're a grab bag of interests and talents and skills, and I've seen you enthuse over non-artist-stuff even if you keep gravitating back to artistry for whatever reason. (I would like to think because you enjoy it, but you can enjoy it as a hobby and not an identity.) But like. Everyone is faceted. You have the artist aspect and the educator aspect and the husband aspect and son/brother/family member aspect, and the Alarming Fermented Health Drinks aspect, etc. and so on. I get the Pressures to pick one, but I agree with the book that is not wise to cauterize everything else ever. Like, idk man, maybe follow one of your other interests down the rabbit hole sometime, yanno?
I say that, knowing that I'm weird as fuck, b/c I have always had split interests across the entire map. I am both VERY into programming as well as theater and followed my interests onto a totally tangential track to editing/writing. So like. Niche down, man. Or do something wildly different to figure out if you like it. One of my programmer friends realized they HATED programming and got a job at Chipotle b/c they had an epiphany. They hated the fact that their work felt so meaningless because they couldn't interface with people to know their work was making any kind of impact on the world. Handing someone a burrito? LUNCH. DIRECT ACTION. I too smile when someone hands me a burrito. Idk what they're doing now, but they know they can't ever go back to behind-the-scenes programming for a corporation because it was horribly detrimental to their mental health. Like, friend. You don't have to be The Artist. You can just be an #artist while also being a #teacher or #kombuchadesigner or #supportforthewife'scutepastrybusiness or something.
And as for changing identity (not even picking one, but just like, breaking out of the rut), humans are honestly super adaptable. Like. We can even change gender and brain scans will back up the adaptation. Which isn't to say 'pick a new identity' but to say 'please don't foreclose on any identity, holy crap.' Which, I mean, you know that, ahha, since you wrote this entry. I feel like...the 'I am ___' thing for identity is a paradigm that needs to be chucked in the bin, unless you're going to repeat to yourself that 'I am {anecdata}' and add absolutely zero qualifiers.