On purchasing things

[anecdata]

It is the new year. I have brought some unfinished business with me. Books, for sure. But other obligations remain too. Do I want to do them anymore? Are they integral to what I am hoping to accomplish?

I would like to get to a more minimal lifestyle. Minimal in what I own and what I do. But I find a lot of distractions/static when making these choices. These make the choices unnecessarily hard.

I read a guide on minimalism the other day. And there was a short version and a long version. The short version went something like :

1. Figure out what is important to you.
2. Eliminate everything else.

Wow.

Of course this is easier said than done. It also helped me think through what minimalism is and what it isn't. Minimalism doesn't mean that you live a live deprived of things. You are just really zeroing in on things you want around you.

While speaking with a friend about minimalism, she introduced me to the concept of a treasure chest. Or a treasure room. Just accumulating things that make you happy and you enjoy being around. My gut response was that this idea was somehow incompatible with a minimalist life. But why not? Minimalism isn't the same as living an ascetic life. It is not the rallying call for anti-materialist philosophies (although it is not not that in some circles). That was a distinction that I needed to make. Minimalism is about being mindful and intentional. At least that is my interpretation of it.

I guess it depends on what your no.1 is. I do not envision a life lived out of a backpack. But if that were my definition then I guess a treasure chest / treasure room would be out of the question. I think for me a treasure room would be something that had the books I liked and the art. Am I just imagining an old timey study with a little reading nook? Yes, yes I am. Better yet, give me Dream's library (from Neil Gaiman's Sandman). It certainly is not minimalist in the obvious sense. But it so removed of the static and distractions that regular materialist life brings. I think that is my problem. The expectations and materialistic lifestyles encumbers me.

That is why, I believe, Mari Kondo's philosophy spoke to me so well. It encourages you to take time and sit with each thing you own and see whether it brings joy. It may seem a bit outlandish. But it really focuses you on the moment and be mindful of the object's use / lack thereof.

For 2023, I have challenged myself to go the extra mile. Barring obvious undergarments, food, medications, and doggy supplies- I won't be buying new things. This will mean borrowing, renting, and purchasing secondhand things. I will prioritize them in that order as well. The library is already my main method of getting reading materials, this will become more important. I have heard that there are communal lending libraries for tools and other miscellany, I will need to research more on this. I had not known this, but big box stores often have tools that are available for rental, this is good to know. Over the past year I taught myself to sew and do repairs, so barring any massive issues I should be able to mend my existing clothes. Art supplies (sketchbooks specifically) will need to be fully exhausted before new ones can be purchased. I do not think I will need to break my rules for art supplies/stationary, because I have a stash of them that are unused. Home upgrades fall into this, so if the option is available to go to something like ReHome or Second chance, I will prioritize that. Home repairs will not fall into this because everything is already a ticking time bomb in home-ownership. Electronics definitely fall into this. Phones used to be a major "hobby" cost, but I really untethered myself from it in 2022. Plus it really is not a hobby. I am finding that older or used tech is pretty capable.

I have not yet thought about gift giving and receiving. I would love to have that fall into this as well, but it might be one of the areas that I compromise on for the sake of my relationships.

Comments

[axael]

I have been contemplating this Whole Shebang. Gosh, tho. Dream's library??? Ah. The literal dream. For me it was Beast's library from Beauty and Beast. Or the one from that London house in Bedknobs and Broomsticks as something more realistic? I just...have always wanted a proper library. It's one of the rooms in my imaginary mansion that I'm definitely going to have someday. :)

Sort of...tangentially, I read a thing on the tumbls the other day and it sort of made me think? It was 'anything you buy you will have until you get rid of it, and if you never get rid of it, you will have it forever.' I was just like. Holy shit that's a lot of pressure to put on a person. Do not like! But! That concept plus my difficulty getting rid of stuff means that I am a bit picky with what I try to acquire, especially physical things.

Tho, you know, my Grandma was super good at tetrising stuff into places and she would toss anything not nailed down. But her thing (or...this might be my mother's terminology, but...): everything has a home in her house aka a spot to store it. And if the thing she was thinking of acquiring didn't have a home or she couldn't make one, she didn't acquire it. That was the first thought. Where will I put this? And that was her metric. She jammed a LOT into her closets (I found a crepe-making kit from the 80s???), but everything had a home. Very organized.

(I do not recommend tossing anything not nailed down, but that's another digression.)

Back more on topic tho, re: gifts... You know what are amazing gifts, imho? Arts and crafts and/or experiences. Like take someone out to dinner as their gift! The best!! But like...I can list off a bunch of craft stuff my friends have done (and I've kept) over time, because I value them and the stories behind them more than anything else? I am, perhaps, unduly influenced by Little House on the Prairie. One of the series has them all exchanging Christmas gifts and it's like. A roll of hand-knitted lace. An embroidered handkerchief. Etc, etc. And I've always thought that was way nicer kind of gifting? A small thing, made by hand. And I've gotten small photo albums from people before that always make me happy and will continue to do so, because they're like...packed-in memory.

Tho this year I requested a spoon with a story from people, and my almost-MIL gifted me a fork with a story that made me CRY because it's like??? Family lore???? I love it immeasurably??????

Maybe it depends on the family situation, though. I am pretty sure my sister's MIL is *very* consumer-oriented and she likes expensive, fancy shit and will get pissy if it's not as fancy as she thinks my sister and her husband can afford. Which is. A struggle. And I know that a pair of my friends here have Major struggle accepting gifts of 'no it's your birthday we're fuckin' paying for you?? what??' because they're so used to being self-sufficient that accepting gifts at all is vaguely upsetting? So. I don't know! :D

[anecdata]

And if the thing she was thinking of acquiring didn't have a home or she couldn't make one, she didn't acquire it.

This just feels like konmari before konmari was a thing! I love it. It is devious in its simplicity.

Maybe it depends on the family situation, though. I am pretty sure my sister's MIL is very consumer-oriented and she likes expensive, fancy shit and will get pissy if it's not as fancy as she thinks my sister and her husband can afford. Which is. A struggle. And I know that a pair of my friends here have Major struggle accepting gifts of 'no it's your birthday we're fuckin' paying for you?? what??' because they're so used to being self-sufficient that accepting gifts at all is vaguely upsetting? So. I don't know! :D

Definitely. I relate to this a whole lot. It is difficult to allow one's self to feel obligation if you've been mostly self-sufficient.